Not everyone knows the truth yet....

While I was on spring break many of you know that an Insider Exclusive Report came out explaining and updating information on the lawsuit against Kimkins and Heidi Diaz. It is the most comprehensive news program I've seen done so far. You can watch it here:

But, also while I was on spring break I got in touch with an old friend from Kimkins and discovered something to be true that I have wondered about for awhile. She didn't know about the extent of the fraud or the psychological games that have been discussed so much in our blogs and on LCF, ALC, and many other message boards. I think those of us that keep up to date on things, sometime forget that there is a LARGE population of people who DON'T read these blogs or these other message boards. They ONLY read what goes on inside their challenges or journals. They may have "heard" about the controversy, and seen Heidi's "apology"... but they don't know that her apology was still full of lies, and they simply think she already made up for her "little mistake"... because that's how she makes it seem.

I realized after talking with my friend, that perhaps I have not yet done enough to get the word out about "the whole truth". And I intend to do my own "summary" of eye opening things here today. And with this post, I hope to remind all of those who are already "in the know" that communication and compassion for those left behind is much more important than protecting our own hearts from possible rejection or acting as if anyone still there is just niave or hopeless.

So, the truths I want to point out today are:

1. Heidi Diaz NEVER lost weight using her program or any program. There are NO photos of her smaller than she is now.

2. Heidi Diaz committed fraud when she STOLE multiple photos off the internet to use as "before's and after's" on her testimonial pages.

3. Heidi Diaz wrote fake and false testimonials about her diet.. and even gave herself "praises" in the midst of them.

4. Christin and I were some of her first REAL "success stories", which means we were actually her test subjects.. who did her plan under her directions without knowing that a)she hadn't done it or maintained it b)all the other "success stories" were faked c)the plan was nutritionally deficient d)there was no way to maintain the losses without resorting to continued anorexia.

5. Heidi Diaz is not only a pathological liar, she is also similar to a narcissistic psychotic abuser. (Google it to see the characteristics!)

6. Heidi Diaz often pits people against each other by talking sweetly to you and then telling you "secrets" about others to make them look bad. She loves the Us vs. Them mentality. She is a master at boosting your ego and then making you feel superior to others, hoping that it will keep you separated from others enough to prevent you from learning the truth. She used to have Becky (littlebit) as her confidant. And she had Christin as her confidant. She would lie to each of them about the other, but always sounded so believable and so sweet and you wouldn't realize what was happening until it was too late. After we left, she took Jeannie (tippytoes) as her new best friend. She told Jeannie that Christin and I were the enemy. She told Jeannie that Christin and I were the ones who were lying, and even had Jeannie convinced that we were mean and might hurt her while in NY. She planted fear of us, in hopes that Jeannie would stay away from us, because she knew that once we got together she would then know who was lying and who was not. Jeannie told me that as soon as she sat next to me on that stage on the Morning Show... she saw me smile at her and knew in her heart that Heidi was the liar, and I wasn't capable of being the monster Heidi made me out to be. AFter Jeannie discovered the truth and left, Heidi took on Amyb as her knew best friend. Read Amyb's revelation of the truth between her and Heidi. It shows how twisted and sick Heidi can really be. The list still continues on and on.. but I'm not at liberty to go on with more names at this time.

7. Heidi often uses fake names around on other boards (and inside Kimkins). Becky has proof of the ones inside Kimkins. Others have proof of the ones found around the web. Heidi even uses some of those "fake" personas to purposely hurt people. She created a blog at one point last year to spew ugly lies about me and Christin. She stole our photographs from our trip in NY and put them up with stories about us being lesbians. (Totally false!!!) She likes to try to hurt us emotionally when she realizes how far out of her grasp we now are. To be honest.. I laughed when I saw the blog... because it was so far fetched and such an obvious attempt to distract and hurt us. I have received emails, PM's, and blog comments from her under various names and even without silly disguises that are sick little jabs at my soul. She loves to pick at my faith, and attempt to either use it against me, or persecute me for it. She knows what hurts me from reading my journals and blog posts and uses that knowledge on purpose just to get at me. (But, it doesn't work anymore, because I see her for what she really is now)

8. Heidi Diaz is NOT a foster parent. She still talks about her "kids" and court dates etc... and they are all LIES. She does NOT have foster kids.. she is NOT a CASA... this is all in her mind... and when you read her posts about them even today, you are being fooled. She had her foster kids taken away from her 5 years ago because she LET them drink alcohol underage. Don't fall for this one! It's just more proof at how she is NOT the person you think she is.

9. The plan as written is nutritionally deficient and has caused her "test subjects" (me and Christin and many others) many health problems. These health problems did NOT SHOW UP in obvious ways until we had been on the plan for many months. Dizzy spells, vertigo, hair loss (in large quantites, not just a brush full), heart palpitations, low pulse rates, metabolism problems, feeling cold all the time, insomnia, exhaustion, BM problems, menstrual cycle disruptions and irregularities. Some of these symptoms did show up early on, but they are nonchalantly dismissed as "normal" while on the plan.

10. Anorexia is developed while eating the Kimkins plan. This is not something anyone ever wants to actually admit. But it's true. You don't have to be under 100 lbs to be an anorexic. Anorexia is a psychological disorder. Dr. Melissa Conrad Stoppler wrote:

Anorexia is a condition that goes beyond out-of-control dieting. A person with anorexia initially begins dieting to lose weight. Over time, the weight loss becomes a sign of mastery and control. The drive to become thinner is actually secondary to concerns about control and/or fears relating to one's body. The individual continues the endless cycle of restrictive eating often to a point close to starvation in order to feel a sense of control over the body. This cycle becomes an obsession and is similar to any type of drug or substance addiction

Many times we do not "diagnose" someone as anorexic until they are way below the healthy weight range. But, at this point, it is already too late to deal with it without medical intervention. Reading the signs and symptoms of anorexia you will find that many of the kimkins dieters display most of these signs. Don't discount the possiblility that you might be an anorexic just because you are still overweight. Others signs include: irritablity, easily upset, easily defensive, disrupted sleep patterns, daytime fatigue, a decrease in attention and concentration, obsessive thinking about food and or calories/carb counts, anxiety disorders, overly compliant, compuliveness, depression, slow heart rate, low blood pressure, irregular heart patterns, constipation, menstural cycle disturbance, hormonal imbalances, loss of bone density, potasium defincency, eloctrolyte imbalances, anemia, dry skin, brittle nails, loss of hair.... do any of these sound familiar???? They did to me, and I never even got to goal.

11. Maintenance isn't something Heidi can promise you. She often told me things like "you can have those potatoes again someday... it's only temporary!". And that gave me hope that I wouldn't always have to eat so little. But, I'm here to tell you all honestly that after doing Kimkins... I have gained half of my weight back. I regained about 20 pounds while still dieting... 1200 calories a day approx. 30 carbs a day. I then gave up and stopped counting things and have put on another 10. The Kimkins diet has ruined my chances of ever maintaining a loss or losing again anytime soon. My body is so deeply injured by the starvation mode (you know the thing Heidi told us doesn't exist??) that I no longer have any hopes of getting off the yo-yo diet train. That is one thing that really hurts. Heidi was really good at giving me hope that I could lose the weight and keep it off (just like her!) but it was all lies. Don't be fooled by her lies, this diet is setting you up for regain moreso than any other diet you've ever been on. The longer you are on it... the more painful the regain will be. The longer you are on it, the stronger the fear hold on you will be, and the more likely you will be to fully develop anorexia.



These are just some of the things I told my friend about just last week. I really thought she knew about them all, because I've been faced with all this since last August. And as painful and as shocking as it was for me to discover back then, she experienced the same pain and disbelief just now. The pain is still fresh for her and will be for many others as well. I am so glad that she now knows the truth and has left kimkins, but my heart aches that she had to learn of it in the first place. I cannot give up in the fight against kimkins.

I have a list of old KK screennames, people that once posted in my journals. I am now calling out to all of you, perhaps you too have been unaware of the truth. Please comment and let me know how you are doing, and whether or not this post comes as news to you or not. I know some of you have already left... but I haven't heard from you in awhile, so I've added your names too. :)

Do you know the truth yet? how are you?
Freetoshake, kickingbutt, 2true, cdgreg1, Auchem Hottie, cynful, msdeevee, sochic83, Alli-Cat, LessofMe, Ready2lose, LWWillLose, Vanillasky, Juliawilllose, bubbles4u, starrburst26, suzy, tresninas, saf72, krhudson1, lilthorner, shezza, ddbythesea, swatkins, LACali21, shawwife, nikki_d, bec913, lameke, oceans, jenabug, nomorefattness, baileyjadip, tinkerbell68, hilary244, shan, odette, pottsy29, ebanks, musicjen, binnyblack, msdee56, emilykate, odirish, kristyleeb123, beyondthesea7, shiphips, Momof8wifeof1, Sher, Songbird, Krysti
Please comment!

ETA: If you are afraid to comment for fear of Kimmer retaliation, feel free to email me! deni@memoriescaptured.com I've already heard from one of you this way! I really appreciate hearing from you, and completely understand the situation and fear that comes from inside. It's really just more proof to me at how messed up this whole thing is. If you're afraid Heidi will ban you for commenting here, or harrass you for having read this blog... please think long and hard about what that truly tells you about the relationships within Kimkins!

What the heck is inner beauty anyway????

Exactly 1 year and 4 days ago today, I started the Kimkins.com diet. I started it with the best of intentions, and even named my journal appropriately... "Ready to match my inner beauty".

Regardless of the hassles and dangers and craziness in the past year because of Kimkins.com the root of my journey still relies on just that... inner beauty.

While reading in my Bible the other day, I noticed that the "chapter heading" on The Message Translation in 1 Peter 3 said, "Cultivate Inner Beauty". I got my highlighter pen ready and devoured the words as if they were a krispy kreme donut!!! :)

Verses 1 thru 7 seem to be a message to wives and husbands. But, if you really read it closely you'll see an important message.
I'll post in both NIV and The Message translations:

1 Peter 3:4 NIV
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight".

The Message
Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.

Later in vs. 6b it uses Sarah as an example.

NIV
You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

The Message
You'll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

While the context is that of a wife married to an non-christian man... the actual descriptions are of INNER BEAUTY.

So... according to these few verses.. inner beauty is:
being gentle, kind, having a quiet spirit (unanxious), being brave (unafraid) and not intimidated!

We can have this inner beauty because the Lord is our confidence. (Proverbs 3:25) He will keep us safe and sound.

I have never looked at being unanxious or unitimidated as qualities to describe inner beauty... and yet, here it is in plain English.

And I recognize that the anxiety I have allowed to take a foothold in my life in the aftermath of the eating disorder called Kimkins.com is hindering me from cultivating my innermost desire.


Now, lets dig even deeper. Skip over the husband stuff.. and read on in 1 Peter 3:8-9

NIV
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another, be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

The Message
Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you. No exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless- that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing.

So, more examples of inner beauty for us all:
Be in harmony with one another!! That means, not squabbling or fighting or causing meaningless arguments. Not stubborn advancement for "self"

Be sympathetic- comfort those who are hurting
Be loving, compassionate, humble.

And, here is some of what NOT to do:
No retaliation! That means, no revenge.... not even with the tongue (using sarcasm or hurtful words)

And final we get blessings when we give blessings... and to quote Psalm 34:5 we have one more mention of inner beauty:

NIV
"Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame"

I want to be radiant... not thin.
I want to cultivate inner beauty... not become worried and fixated on my outward appearance.

I now see that once again, the Word is the answer to all of my questions and I rest assured that while the Lord is my confidence, I will not fail at becoming the bride he intends me to be for Him. With a repentant heart, I can now seek that inner beauty with much more direction than I did last year.

I know where I can get some inner beauty for free!!!


He's already paid my fee, and made it possible for me to have all these qualities!!!

My unsaid responses....

Today I will take some points made by Jeannie at the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet and give the reply that I didn't have the opportunity to say on the show.


Jeannie: (in response to who is Kimmer?) Uhm…Kimmer is in fact Heidi Diaz. Uhm, none of us really knew that. You guys didn’t know it...

My response:
Yes.. we did know it was Heidi. Christin often spoke to Kimmer on the phone.. sometimes she would ask to speak with Heidi, sometimes she would ask to speak with Kimmer... she always got the same person, the same voice... no matter who she "answered" as. I emailed with Heidi Diaz as Kimmer... they were one and the same to me... I even signed my "model release form" to Heidi Diaz... so, yes.. I knew Kimmer was Heidi Diaz, so did Christin, and so did Becky. You can't tell us that we didn't know who she was. Perhaps Kimmer/Heidi Diaz was lying to you and convincing you that we didn't know for sure.. but the truth of the matter is... we did know, and that shouldn't be a surprise to you.

Jeannie:I think maybe she fell off the wagon and gained her weight back. Listen, it’s tough.

My response:
If she "fell off the wagon"... where are the pictures of her at goal? When did she gain it back? How long did she "keep it off"? I doubt very much that she ever lost the weight... there is NO PROOF that she ever lost weight.. the only proof out there is that she is overweight. When she is able to produce proof that she at one point PRIOR to now utilized the Kimkins program and lost weight, then we can give her sympathy for "gaining it back"... but for now... I only see a woman who ridicules people for eating the very things that she has never given up.

Jeannie: Did she use some poor marketing tactics? Well yes, absolutely

My response:
Poor marketing tactics??????? Theft and fraud are about the worst marketing tactics you can use!!!! How dare you try to gloss it over and make it sound like a minor mishap. She blatantly stole photos from the internet... completely fabricated stories about herself and others and based her entire business on nothing but lies. That's not "poor marketing tactics" that's fraud, that's a crime, and it's not something to just giggle about as a "whoops".

Jeannie: 800 minimum calories, 1500 maximum

My response:
I will copy and paste directly from an email from Kimmer herself. (Remember, she is the founder of this diet.. and she is the one who sets the "rules" of the diet. Not you Jeannie!)
Kimmer's words in response to questions about people who think Kimkins is proana:

Low Calories/Pro AnaWe are low calorie after ketosis kicks in or with the shake
option, but those calories are identical to post-WLS patients (500 cal a day for
months), original Optifast and Medifast (450-700 cal a day for months). I
don't think we can fight the "1200 calorie a day mentality". Some people
cannot understand that your body takes the calories it needs from body fat if
the calories you eat are too low to sustain current weight. If you need
2500 calories (250 lb person) and eat 500 (number picked for easy math), the
other 2000 are taken from body fat. In Jimmy's interview I meant what I
said about take a Weight Watcher or Jenny Craig meal and remove the
starches. What's left? Kimkins. There is no health advantage
to adding carbs or extra fat, so why is removing them (and having less calories)
dangerous? 1200 calories a day is an arbitrary number (like 8 glasses of water).
Anorexia is a psychological disorder. Do we have people with ED on
Kimkins? Of course. I weighed 318 pounds and you don't get that big
without an improper relationship with food so I have an ED. But low
calories aren't an ED, otherwise all of the WLS patients would be medically
classified anorexic.

I have seen Kimmer on NUMEROUS occasions tell people to eat less, even when they were eating less than 800 calories a day. She personally recommended to me when I started to stick to ranges between 600 and 800, and to drop to closer to 500 if I stalled. This is what Kimkins is... there is no way you can possibly stick to the "rules" of the plan and end up with more than 800 calories on a regular basis.

Jeannie: NO (in response to do you recommend laxatives)

My response:
Another direct quote from Kimmer herself:

all I'm suggesting is someone take a regular dose for 1-2 days and then a 25-50%
dose each day after.

Kimmer often told me that Milk of Magnesium was a mild laxative that we perfectly safe to take on a daily basis and that it in no way would lead to a dependency. In going back over my own journals I realized that I was dependent on MOM while I was doing the Kimkins plan as written. I worried about taking it on a daily basis, so I only took it every 3 days or so... but I could NOT go to the bathroom without it. A full dose according to the bottle was 2 to 4 tablespoons.. in the beginning I used 2, but within a month I was needing 4 tablespoons in order to "go". After I finished off my second LARGE bottle.. I started to feel "guilty" about the laxative use.. and I switched to the Smooth Move Tea that so many others were recommending (including Kimmer). I had my "tea" every other day in order to stay "regular". I could NOT "go" without it until I stopped using the Kimkins plan. This was not just me... this might be my personal example, but I honestly felt that I had it under control much more so than the others on the site. I saw people left and right suggesting to someone in a "stall"... that perhaps they should up their dose of MOM and hope for a "whoosh" the next day. (and these "stalls" that people were having were people who had lost 5 pounds in a week, and had no change on the scale for 1 or 2 days.... please note: THIS IS NOT A TRUE STALL- THIS IS YOUR BODIES CHANCE TO CATCH UP AND RECOVER FROM THE SEVERE TRAUMA IT IS EXPERIENCING DURING FAST RAPID WEIGHT LOSS!!!)

Jeannie: We’re always willing to make positive changes

My response: Jeannie, if you want to make positive changes that will really help people... I think you need to take a hard honest look at all of this. Positive changes will only be like dipping a razorblade in chocolate syrup. It might look better from the outside, and it might even taste sweet at first.. but in the end you will find that the real "core" of Kimkins is going to hurt you in the end. Jeannie, if you really care about all these women who are writing to you... please don't force them to think that there is nothing wrong with Kimkins. You know as well as I do that there is something wrong with it. And making positive changes would serve you and the overweight community better if they were made elsewhere, under a different name, and based on a different plan. You can't layer the chocolate thick enough over this razorblade... it will always have a dangerous center to it...

Jeannie: I believe it can be used safely. Do I believe that anyone should stay on five hundred calories a day to lose a hundred pounds in five months? No. In fact, ladies, I went behind you and I read your posts and as moderators I felt you set a poor example for other people. I really do
My response:
Kimkins can't be used safely. Kimkins, once ketosis sets in will never add up to more than 800 calories. The diet itself is designed for rapid weight loss... which, unfortunately isn't safe. I wanted it to be safe just as much as you all do... but it just isn't. The plan is too general.. there are no safeguards in place. Sure.. the veggie list might have some healthy vegetables in it, but it doesn't ever tell you that you need to eat more than just 2 cups of lettuce a day. All of the "up to's" on the plan were specifically worded that way because Kimmer knows that the lower the better. And I'm sorry, but 2 cups of lettuce 2x a day (your example) is not a nutritionally sound diet. There isn't much in lettuce Jeannie... and if you think that a handful of lettuce at lunch and dinner is going to provide members with enough vitamins and minerals to sustain their bodies on a daily basis... you are sadly mistaken. As far as the 500 calories a day for 5 months statement... well... that is exactly the way that Kimmer intends the Kimkins diet to be. She praised Christin for the way she worked the plan. The 500 a day for as long as you need to is exactly what Kimmer suggests, exactly what works, and exactly what gets the results that she offers to her members.
As for mine and Christin's posts as moderators... I know NOW that when I shared from my experience that I was setting an unhealthy example. But I also know that I was setting a true Kimkins example as well. I believed 110% in the plan too... and I DID the plan 110% all the time, and all of my posts were examples of Kimkins the way Kimmer intended it to be. I thought that I was eating in a healthy manner, because Kimmer told me it was okay... she told me that I had enough fat on my body to sustain me... I thought I was leading others on to success… because I had such success… but NOW I know better. Now I know that the “ranges” I gave as my examples of eating were not nutritionally sound, and my diet was a starvation diet that will lead to many negative health problems. Hmmm but… I was doing Kimkins… does that mean Jeannie, that you are admitting that Kimkins is a starvation diet? Are you sending everyone a cryptic message that my example of the Kimkins diet in 100% commitment was a poor example?????? That Kimkins itself is a poor example for other people??? Jeannie… I agree with your perception of my posts. I came forward once I realized how WRONG my beliefs about eating were… and that’s exactly why I went on this show! I am SORRY for my part in Kimkins. I am SORRY for doing this diet and encouraging others to do the same. I now want to make up for that by setting a better example for other people… and that better example… to put it simply… is NOT Kimkins.

Jeannie: But the fact that Christin didn’t tell her doctor what was going on tells me that Christin knew it was bad

My response:
EXACTLY!!! Jeannie, I do believe you’re starting to see our side of the story! Somewhere deep inside I think you just realized that Kimkins is bad!

Jeannie: I did take it on knowing

My response:
Well, if you really knew that the diet was nutritionally deficient and unhealthy and you also knew that the founder/inventor of the diet never used it herself and manipulated everyone around her for her sole benefit… then what does that tell us about your character? If you took it on because you are a caring person and you wanted to change it and save everyone from the dangers of it, then why are you still supporting Heidi? If you really want to help people… why are you sticking up for a woman who in her own sickness takes pleasure in watching people starve themselves based on her advice? If you really care about people who want to lose weight, then why do you support the business of someone who manipulates and lies to people at every turn.
Jeannie... please, be careful… I don’t think you took this on truly knowing how sick your boss is. I’m not warning you as a “hater”… I’m speaking out of concern, because I have seen with my own eyes how your boss will turn on the people closest to her at the drop of a hat and lash out against them. You are the closest one to her now, and as her “situation” gets more and more desperate, I worry that you might be in harm’s way.




Backstage- Jeannie, you told us that you would make it your personal goal to get our photos removed from the website and advertising. It’s been a week now. Both of our pictures are still in the success story rotation, and they are also being used as affiliate link banners. If you tried to get Heidi to remove them, and she refused… can you perhaps recognize that she might not be the sweet little innocent woman who tragically gained her weight back… and she might actually be the vengeful, mean spirited uncaring woman that we have come to know? And if you haven’t tried to get them removed yet… please do… we no longer “sing praises” to Kimkins… it makes no PR sense to utilize photos and stories of people who are in opposition to your program.