Instead of condemnation as a side dish to the conviction I felt... I received instructions!
"Buy your gold from me" (vs. 18)
so I asked God what is His gold??????
I had a quick flash in my mind about the "gold dust" that sometimes is reported to be found at gatherings of people in the presence of God. (I've often doubted or wondered about stories like this... but during my journalings with the Lord I trust that He is the one who impresses images upon my mind when I question Him about something He brought up in the first place!) Then, just as quickly as that thought came I then saw a flash of "heavenly streets paved with gold".
And then.. a still small voice in my heart said
"What is valuable is worthless, and what is worthless is valuable"
I think that what this means is that buying gold from God (his instruction in Rev 3:18) is like asking him to simply sweep the floors of heaven over me. A simple act that He doesn't hesitate to do when asked.
My time, on the other hand- is spent constantly on worthless things (facebook, TV, etc) and the Father sees MY TIME AND ATTENTION as very valuable and he WANTS them! Why do I hesitate to hand over to Him what I so freely give to worthless things? The Lord sees this as an even trade- buying His gold with my time and attention.
(worthless in heaven=gold.... worthless here according to my actions=time) But in the bigger picture.. they are obviously both valuable to the one that requires it.
I'm still trying to wrap my brain around all of this.. but as I seek Him for something of value I realize that I should also be giving Him what He values.