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Monday, September 3, 2007

Welcome to My Open Bench

The story behind this blog: (A copy of the post on my last blog)

Today's post has been being formed in my mind for the past 2 or 3 weeks now. As some of my Kimkins friends know.. I have really been seeking the Lord's guidance, and I have been praying without ceasing. He has been giving me strength, encouragement, and now courage to do what I must do.
He gave me a vision a few weeks ago... of Kimkins as a "fast moving train"... seeing that train in my vision was scary to watch.. and then I saw myself sitting alone on a bench watching the train go by. Then people saw me there, and would come sit with me on the bench. We put up a few "signs" to tell people who were getting on and off the train that over here on my "bench" things were all about support and friendship and healing, and that the Lord was going to be with us on the bench. When I first had this vision, I felt that the Lord was telling me to stay at Kimkins, but to be more like a quiet presence of peace instead of the loud train conductor. So... that is what I have been doing. But now.. I am recognizing that the bench was NOT ON THE TRAIN!
I know that some people have seen my "signs" inside of Kimkins and they have told me that they have been touched by my presence, to them I pray that they will still look for me and try to understand this post without feeling betrayed. I also know that there are people outside of Kimkins who have been judging my actions and accusing me of blindness. To those people, I must say, that I have not had a "log in my eye"... and I have already had my heart and mind judged by the most high.. and that I have no need for their judgements or "shame tactics". I have been, and still am following the promtings of God.. and I have been waiting upon HIS timing for everything. To be honest.. in response to some of the personal attacks.. I see them as that.. attacks from Satan who knows that things like that tend to make me stubborn!!! So.. I am submitting to the Lord's will in this rather than reacting to those attacks the way that Satan wanted me to!
In case you haven't figured it out yet.. I am leaving Kimkins. I am leaving because I have learned some things that make me doubt the integrity of the founder, and because I have been used for purposes that go against my personality, my moral, and my conscience. I was decieved, and yet.. I still do not regret or doubt that the Lord called me to be there.. I simply accept now, that my work there is done.. and that the plans HE had for me there.. have been completed.
I will be starting a new blog... without the Kimkins address attached to it.. and will continue to keep my FOCUS on the work that God is doing in my life to turn me into a healthy example of HIS glory and creation. I know that He intended for me to learn a healthier way of eating.. and he his still teaching me about that. I also know that He wants to continue to use me as a witness to other hurting people.
He wants desperately to heal the INNER hurts that we have, and that takes time. I am NOT a finished work yet.... so I will go and sit on my bench now, and let God continue to reform me in His image.

14 comments:

oakdryad said...

Deni, I'm sorry that you needed to leave the forum...because your voice was always one of both gentleness and reason, reminding people that it's important to eat *enough* and take care of themselves.

But I understand that you need to do the thing that is right for you. :) I've bookmarked your blog and will check in when I can.

blessings always,
cynthia

Vickie said...

Deni, you are a woman of faith and integrity. I admire your honesty and wish you all the best God has for you.

Deni said...

Thanks Cynthia and Vickie... I will miss you both! :)

I hope you will both take on the charge of reminding people to "listen to their body". I stayed as long as I did partly because I wanted to keep my influence there.. but things have gotten too out of hand for me to be able to do that anymore.
I can no longer check in and post on the site.... so you both have my best wishes and prayers! :)

Jimmy Moore said...

What a beautiful new blog with a purpose greater than simple encouragement and motivation! You're gonna do well with this, Deni! I'm here to help you any way I can. Take care, my friend.

Unknown said...

Deni - I will miss you but am on the same road myself of discovering where I need to go for support in finishing my weight loss and keeping it off. I appreciate you so much. I will be checking in often.

Cheryl
Real E Hot

Lynne said...

Deni,
I have admired you since I saw your first post on the kimkins site. I am happy you will be continuing to encourage people with your new site.

I will be here often!

Unknown said...

Awesome Deni, I agree wholeheartedly! If only there was a forum for those of us on this diet where we can come together without all of the drama and scandel. I would start one but I am a little fish, hint hint :)
Bless you in Christ sweet Deni!
April

Deni said...

Well, Jimmy thanks so much for your support. :) I saw your "invitation" and will consider accepting it when I decide I'm ready to face a room full of strangers again. :)

In the meantime.. I'm seeing lots of hints for a new place... and while I can't be professional... I have set up a small little tiny message board here. Just look on the main page!

For now... you can email me to get the password.. or for those of you who know the title of my old Kimkins journal... answer this question and you'll know the password on your own. ;) Q: what was I ready to Match??
A:***********

Deborah said...

Dear Deni,
Your spirituality shed such incredible light to the kimkins life for me. I welcome the opportunity you've given me to further watch your journey unfold when I visit the Open Bench. You are a woman wise beyond your young years and God truly has you held in his protective hands. What a wondrous thing your ears are so open to his whispers to you.
Best of luck on your newest journey of faith.
Love
Deborah aka DEBBIEWEBE

Amy Dungan said...

Congrats on your new blog and new direction Deni! I'm wishing you all the best!

Mommahall said...

Best wishes on your life journey. You are an inspiration to me and many others. Your faith shines through in all of your writngs and posts. I wish I could have gotten to know you better, I know you would have made a great friend.

GillianIvy said...

Wow, just seeing all these comments from these people... You have really been an inspiration in the lives of so many.

Susique said...

Deni, I dont know if you remember me, Im Susan (Susique the gal with the flying chicky avaitar on Kimkins). I only this week decided to look into this Kimkins fraud thing and Im blown away. After I spent 5 days in the hospital in March/April, I quit that plan but really felt like I was the one being WEAK. I had Drs running all over the place thinking my horrid-cant-even-sit-up dizziness was a stroke! Im just so glad to have "found" you, Becky, Christin again! I really miss that sisterhood we all shared! Susan

Jan said...

Hi Deni, I found your blog on Christin's site. Reading some of the things you went through on kimkins, reminds me of a little over a year ago what I went through...some days my calorie intake was lower then 500 calories. My hair thinned out too...but I am older and thought that was due to age, dizzyness or light headed sometimes too. I lost fast, lost alot, and gained it back just as fast too. I am now again on the journey of losing weight...but this time more healthy. Deni, you and the others have done so much for so many, God Bless You and I know with Him all things are Possible!!!